dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
