You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
