I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
