remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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