Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
