Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
