we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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