if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
