She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
