1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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