help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
