It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize