then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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