Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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