...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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