If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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