i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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