This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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