Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
