thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
