There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
