Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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