i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
