I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
