I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize