they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
