Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
