last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
