living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
