I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
