His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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