I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
