Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize