Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
