hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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