ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
