God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
