Swine flu. Run for my life!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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