you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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