So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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