Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We got so high we made milksteak
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
