people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
