Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
