I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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