we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
