We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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