Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
