shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
two words...techno handjob
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
