she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
