I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
