He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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