i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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