I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
