Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
