didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
