Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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