just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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